What are the four attachment styles?

The four attachment styles are: Secure (comfortable with intimacy and independence), Anxious (craves closeness but fears rejection), Avoidant (values independence, withdraws from intimacy), and Disorganized (mix of anxious and avoidant traits).

Attachment Style Quiz

Understanding Attachment Styles

Attachment theory, developed by John Bowlby and Mary Ainsworth, explains how early experiences with caregivers shape our patterns of relating to others throughout life. Your attachment style influences who you're attracted to, how relationships develop, and what triggers conflict.

The Four Attachment Styles

Secure Attachment

Comfortable with intimacy and independence. Trusting, supportive, and able to communicate needs clearly. The healthiest style, and the goal of attachment work.

Anxious (Preoccupied)

Craves closeness but fears rejection. May be "clingy" or need frequent reassurance. Often hyperaware of partner's moods and may take things personally.

Avoidant (Dismissive)

Values independence, may withdraw from intimacy. Not a lack of caring—it's a protective mechanism. May seem emotionally distant or prioritize work/hobbies over relationships.

Disorganized (Fearful-Avoidant)

A mix of anxious and avoidant traits. Desires closeness but also fears it. May engage in "push-pull" dynamics. Often associated with unresolved trauma.

Can You Change Your Attachment Style?

Yes! Attachment styles are not fixed. Through consistent, healthy relationships (romantic or therapeutic) and self-awareness, you can move towards a more secure attachment style. This process is called "Earned Secure Attachment."

Disclaimer: This quiz is for educational and self-discovery purposes. It is not a clinical diagnosis. Attachment styles exist on a spectrum and can vary by relationship. For deep attachment work, consider therapy with a licensed professional.

Attachment Style Quiz

Part 1: Your Feelings About Closeness

1. I worry that romantic partners won't care about me as much as I care about them.

2. I often wish that my partner's feelings for me were as strong as my feelings for them.

3. I worry a lot about my relationships.

4. When I'm not in a relationship, I feel somewhat anxious and incomplete.

5. I find that my close friends/partners don't want to get as close as I would like.

6. I need a lot of reassurance that I am loved by my partner.

7. I worry about being abandoned.

8. My desire to be very close sometimes scares people away.

Part 2: Your Feelings About Independence

9. I am comfortable depending on romantic partners.

10. I find it easy to get close to others.

11. I tell my close friends/partners just about everything.

12. I usually discuss my problems with my partner.

13. I prefer not to show a partner how I feel deep down.

14. I get uncomfortable when a romantic partner wants to be very close.

15. I don't feel comfortable opening up to romantic partners.

16. I prefer not to be too close to romantic partners.

Your Attachment Profile